ColemanMedia Report

In yet another tough break for device-challenged Microsoft, reports surfaced early Tuesday morning that only six weeks after launching it, the software giant dropped its Kin “social” phone Monday evening, cracking the screen and rendering the device useless. According to witnesses at the scene, Microsoft dropped the non-smartphone – only one of seven sold in the United States – on Carol’s kitchen floor while at a Windows 7 Launch Party, sending plastic and glass pieces scattering across Carol’s kitchen.  ”We’re devastated,” said a representative from Microsoft.  ”All of our friend’s phone numbers were on that phone, so now we have to Facebook everyone and ask for them again.  We’re kicking ourselves for not getting the insurance.  Oh well, at least I can put out a “missed connections” ad on Craig’s List and get the number of that cute girl at Carol’s party again.”

The entire continental United States air traffic control system was brought to a halt Sunday morning just minutes after the Federal Aviation Administration completed an upgrade from Windows Vista to Windows 7, according to a press release issued by the agency Monday.  According to release, the decision to upgrade was made after watching 2 months’ worth of Windows 7 and Apple commercials on CNN.  ”So we may be a little late to the game,” said operations director Annabelle Crumbsworth.  ”I mean, we are a government agency.  But let’s be honest, that Mac guy is a little bit smug.  I’ve always wanted to see the look on his face when the PC guy finally upstages him, and Windows 7 looked like the first legitimate chance.  But after installing it and having the entire flight plan system shut down on me, I can say with confidence that I am not a PC, and Windows 7 was not my idea.  Okay, so maybe the idea to install it was.”