ColemanMedia Report

In an unexpected response to Google’s highly-publicized announcement earlier this week, software giant Microsoft announced Wednesday morning that it too will cease using Windows software and operating system at its 135 corporate office locations around the globe.  The move, which took many industry experts by surprise, is purportedly Microsoft’s attempt to use reverse psychology to increase sales of its beleaguered software products.  ”Look, we know Microsoft is about as cool and forward-thinking as your grandma’s wardrobe,” said COO Kevin Turner.  ”So if we say that we’re not going to use our own products anymore, that should make them that much cooler by disassociation.  Plus, they really do have too many security holes.  People kept hacking into Steve [Ballmer]‘s Facebook account and updating his status to claim that he could ‘smoke’ Steve Jobs in beer pong.  Which we all know is not true.”