ColemanMedia Report

In a clever and daring reverse marketing strategy and a desperate attempt to steal back sliding market share, once-popular retailer The Gap revealed Monday that it has been shipping sex-crazed competitor Abercrombie & Fitch’s fall clothing line to the cast of MTV’s Jersey Shore. According to a spokesperson from the San Francisco-based clothing chain, the move is an attempt to make Abercrombie & Fitch’s clothes less desirable by association with the show. “Look, we learned a while ago that we can’t convince anyone that we’re cool anymore,” said Marka Hansen, president at The Gap. “But we can trick people into thinking our competitors aren’t cool either. And what better way to do that than outfit Snooki every time she gets arrested for public drunkenness. I mean, everyone realizes that at this point, the show is just a caricature of itself, so why not drag our competitors down with it?” Ed. Note: Senior Maternity Leave Correspondent Stephanie Felenstein contributed to this story.

The Chick-Fil-A cows, famous for encouraging consumers to “Eat Mor Chikin” for the last ten-plus years, began picketing several Southern California locations of QSR chain El Pollo Loco Monday morning over the fast-feeder’s new Flame Grilled Sirloin Steak campaign.   The cows, carrying signs reading “Loos The Beef” and “Carne A-Crazy,” stood outside locations in Puente Hills and Reseda, CA, vocally urging consumers not to support El Pollo Loco’s newest steak menu items.  ”We used to consider El Pollo Loco practically a sister company,” said cow spokeswoman Betsy, “with their deep komitmint to chikin.  But this is lik a slap in the fase.  We feel lik weev been stabbed in the bak with a pitchfork.  We pleed with the good peepel of Southern California not to support an organization that turns their back on the cow kommunity with such obvious krewlty and disrespekt.  We’re prepared to stay out heer as long as it takes to hav our werds herd.”

Just days after “Gwen,” the homeless doll generated a chorus of outcry in the mommy blogosphere, El Segundo-based toymaker Mattel announced that it will hold off on launching its “Crack Babies” line of dolls until it can conduct more research into the marketability of the toys.  The doll line, aimed at girls 3-11, was originally slated to launch in mid-October, just in time for holiday shopping season, but may be held back at least two weeks, according to a company spokesperson.  ”Initial research indicated that social responsibility was a hot-button issue with parents at the moment,” said Mattel CEO Robert A. Eckert.  ”And we know that people want to look like they care about important issues without actually doing something about it.  Because, let’s be honest, no one wants to get their hands dirty.  But the automatic ‘fiending’ feature may have been a bit too much.  So we’re looking at more subtle ways to allow privileged kids to have fun at the expense of those much less fortunate.”

Osaka-based electronics manufacturer Panasonic announced late last week that it will launch a $80 million dollar multi-platform ad campaign to support its new Shower Auto-Tune line of products.  The campaign, set to launch just before Halloween and continue throughout the Holiday season, will reportedly play up the device’s pitch shifting capabilities, which, according to Panasonic representatives “eliminates up to 76%” of out-of-tune shower singing.  ”In all of our market research,” said Taki Yakamito of Panasonic, “poor shower singing was rose to the top of customers’ pet peeve lists.  So why not solve an annoying problem with something five times as annoying?”  The campaign, targeted at shared-bathroom households, annoyed wives, and younger siblings, will encourage customers to submit user-generated versions of Jay-Z’s D.O.A., which will be bundled with the devices.