ColemanMedia Report

67-year-old Vice President of Media Operations Joel Whitmeier’s attempt to appear relevant to his younger, 20-something subordinates by asking if any of them planned to attend Saturday’s Jonas Brothers concert reportedly fell flat, according to several witness at the scene. The inquiry, which allegedly only made Whitmeier seem more out of touch, did not resonate with its intended audience. “Really? The Jonas Brothers?” said Heather Chandler, 25. “Who listens to that corn-syrupy crap? Seriously, if Joel knew anything about music, he’d know I’m busy being nostalgic about 80′s bands that I’m far too young to remember so that I get some of the creative directors’ obscure Flock of Seagulls references. It’s just pathetic when someone tries too hard to fit in.” According to Chandler, Whitmeier’s references to Ashley Tisdale and Demi Lovato fell equally flat.