ColemanMedia Report

The Easter Bunny, the long-time spokesperson for Cadbury Creme Eggs, put a wrinkle in Kraft’s winning, $19.7 billion bid for Cadbury Schweppes early Tuesday when the domesticated Flemish giant announced that it would walk off the job if the proposed merger of the consumer packaged goods giants goes through.  The small mammal, who has dutifully clucked like a chicken in Cadbury ads for over 20 years, said that it would no longer star in the commercials if the Northfield, Illinois-based company is allowed to take over.  ”I’m not about to be Americanized,” said the bunny through its agent.  ”Nobunny knows Easter like me, and I’m not about to let some Hillbilly tell me how to say my lines.  Besides, I’ve never trusted the whole ‘cheese before the macaroni’ thing.  It’s macaroni and cheese people, get it right.”

Only two days after making their separation official, sources close to the scene report that newly-single Internet portal AOL and media giant Time Warner have been fighting over rights to the couple’s Bergen County vacation home, mahogany dining set, and John Tesh Songs of Christmas CD box set.  The split, long thought to be mutually amicable by many industry experts, reportedly turned sour when AOL claimed the dining set, purchased last year at the Pottery Barn Store in Short Hills Mall.  According to lawyers for AOL, Time Warner purchased the 6-seat dining set as a birthday gift for AOL.  ”Look, they don’t make the Montego Collection in espresso anymore,” said Lew Alsinger, an attorney for AOL.  ”My client uses that setup to host clients and hold critical sales meetings.  It’s not like she can go back to the ‘Barn and buy another one.”  ”AOL can go look on Craig’s List for all I care,” said Time Warner in a written statement.  ”I have receipts for the dining set and the Tesh CDs, and I’ll be damned if I she’s gonna walk away with them.”