ColemanMedia Report

Just hours after announcing their $850 million dollar acquisition of beloved online shoe retailer Zappos, Seattle-based Amazon.com confirmed that they will change Zappos’ business model from selling shoes to participating exclusively in social media marketing.  According to Amazon officials, the flood of media analysis from the blogosphere calling the purchase the “biggest social media deal of the decade” helped cement their decision.  ”We initially bought Zappos because they had one of the best customer service models we’ve ever seen,” said Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos.  ”They built their entire business on it.  But because everyone at Mediapost, Advertising Age and Brandweek kept pushing the social media angle, we have decided to prove them right, and turn one of the most successful online retailers into a misguided advertising case study.”

“Pirate” Joe, the homeless man often seen hanging outside the Chicago offices of Foot, Cone and Mr. Belding, revised his ad spend outlook down for the remainder of 2009 Monday afternoon, citing “downward economic pressures on budgets for online branding initiatives, especially in emerging and largely unproven segments like mobile and digital WOM.” Joe, widely respected as the most accurate barometer of the online advertising industry, still calls for growth in the sector, but predicts that growth will slow due to a longer recovery cycle of the macro economy. “We take Joe’s word as the truth,” said Kevin Longstocking, Executive VP of Media for FCB. “Sure, he’s usually drunk before 10:00 a.m., but he’s far more accurate than most of these holding companies and self-prescribed ‘experts’ with Mediapost who only release spending projections to secure their next consulting gig. Plus, you should hear his joke about the nun and the horse whisperer. Hilarious!”