ColemanMedia Report

Senior Online Media Planner Jed Blakely launched what many industry insiders are calling the first RFP rejection hotline early Monday after receiving nearly 67 proposals for a local online branding campaign for Joe’s Pizza, a local Manhattan pizza chain.  The hotline, which according to Blakely was inspired by a phone number given to him by a young woman from Hackensack Saturday evening, delivers several pre-recorded messages that inform sales reps why their proposal(s) did not make the media plan.  ”I can’t possibly be expected to actually give feedback to people who didn’t make the plan,” said Blakely.  ”So this is my way of at least getting back to them.  I just email them the number disguised as a conference call-in number, and let the recordings to the rest.  That way I have time to manage my fantasy football team.”  Messages on the recording site “it’s not you, it’s me” and “your site’s just not my client’s type” as reasons for not making a plan.

A study released late last week by the John J. Apathee Center for Excuses and Laziness revealed that project and campaign accountability within the advertising industry could be reduced by 37.4% – and the chance of getting fired reduced by up to 72.9% – simply by blaming one or more other parties involved in the process or project.  ”The results of this study are potentially game changing,” said lead researcher Alfred P. Nowittal.  ”Agencies can reduce their accountability 42.5% by blaming their clients for bad campaign briefs, media companies see a 28.5% reduction by blaming the agencies for RFP’s that lack detail, and marketers drop 47.3% by blaming their agencies for overburdening cost structures.  Media directors can blame ineffective creative, and creative directors can blame the media mix for dwindling audiences and framentation.”  The study found that once a full circle of blame is completed, accountability for the entire advertising industry could be redirected entirely to Joan in HR.