ColemanMedia Report

After recording a record 622 million sales calls and emails to ad agencies and marketing departments in the first 12 days of the month, the Internet Advertising Bureau officially declared October National Ad Sales Month.   The industry organization, which monitors online marketing and sales activity, awarded the label to October due to a 4,727% increase in sales calls and emails from the prior month.  ”The numbers are out of this world,” said Jerry Van Winklesmith, a researcher with the IAB.  ”A property crime is committed approximately every 3 seconds in the United States.  In those 3 seconds, ad agencies across the country were hit with 722.3 sales calls and emails asking about Q4 plans.  So, like we always do in this industry, we put a positive spin on a ridiculous situation, slap a label on it, and send two weeks worth of emails around that theme.”  The IAB plans to celebrate the occasion by hosting a two-day conference on how to manage sales calls.

ASE Certified Mechanic Lou “Boom Boom” Damiano informed the Internet Advertising Bureau early Monday afternoon that in order to fix online display advertising, he would need to install completely new brakes, rotors, and pads, along with other “minor” repairs.  Online display advertising, which has been “making a funny sound for some time now,” according to representatives with the IAB, has been beset recently by reports of falling CPMs, dwindling creative, and an over-burdened planning process.  ”You hear that hissing sound?” said Damiano.  ”That’s probably where your CPMs are leaking out.  I can fix it no problem, but I’ll need to take the manifold apart, replace two piston seals and a head gasket.  And while I’m down there, I really should take a look at the tranny.”  Damiano estimated that he should have online display advertising up and running in two weeks, three weeks max if he has to wait for parts.

A report released by the Interactive Advertising Bureau Monday revealed that “Out of Office” emails outnumbered actual work man-hours in the advertising industry by nearly 400 times from Thursday, July 2nd to Friday, July 3rd. According to the report, nearly 110 million automatic “Out of Office” email messages were sent throughout the industry, versus a combined 267.5 hours of actual work performed during the same time period. “Our data indicates that throughout the entire ad industry, approximately 47 people actually showed up to work on Thursday,” said lead IAB research Carlos del Funcionario. “And further study reveals that those 47 people instigated or received approximately 72% of the Out of Office emails generated during that time. We saw Out of Office volume decrease significantly on Friday, July 3rd, as our estimate for employees physically in the workplace fell to just Roger in Ad Operations.”