ColemanMedia Report

Junior Account Coordinator Peter Pantswaist was reportedly alerted about the unzipped fly on his jeans Monday afternoon by information aggregation service Google Dashboard, as he logged in to review his privacy settings.  According to Google Dashboard, which tracks Pantwaist’s personal online data and account settings, the fly became unzipped between Pantwaist’s email to Lindsay in HR and his trip to the company restroom.  ”It’s a little creepy, to be honest,” said Pantswaist.  ”On one hand, I’m grateful that it helped me avoid a potentially embarrassing situation, but on the other hand, Google can see that my pants are unzipped.  I mean, the whole purpose of Dashboard was to create transparency about the data they collect on me and give me some control on how it’s used.  But for some reason, I’m even more uncomfortable now than I was before.”  Dashboard also reminded Pantswaist that he forgot to pay his cable bill and that he missed his rearmost upper right molar while brushing his teeth earlier that morning.