ColemanMedia Report

Twenty-six-year-old junior programmer Gary Wallace confirmed early Monday morning that the ‘Censored’ link on Craig’s List’s local Los Angeles Web site was not working properly, according to several co-workers at the Torrance office of Mediamind Over Matter. Wallace reportedly made several attempts to visit the new section at his home computer from approximately 12:30 to 2:30 a.m. Monday morning, including VPN and asymmetric backdoor queries, all unsuccessful. Attempts from the office later the same morning were also unsuccessful, according to art director Sandi Gustafson, who reportedly witnessed Wallace’s frustration in not being granted access. “Awesome,” said Gustafson. “I wonder if Gary realizes he’s trying to access the [recently closed] ‘adult services’ section from an office computer. I guess I could tell him, but it’ll waaay be more fun if HR catches him first. I mean, the first day back from Labor Day is always kind of boring. This might wake me up better than that 3rd cup of coffee.”

In yet another tough break for device-challenged Microsoft, reports surfaced early Tuesday morning that only six weeks after launching it, the software giant dropped its Kin “social” phone Monday evening, cracking the screen and rendering the device useless. According to witnesses at the scene, Microsoft dropped the non-smartphone – only one of seven sold in the United States – on Carol’s kitchen floor while at a Windows 7 Launch Party, sending plastic and glass pieces scattering across Carol’s kitchen.  ”We’re devastated,” said a representative from Microsoft.  ”All of our friend’s phone numbers were on that phone, so now we have to Facebook everyone and ask for them again.  We’re kicking ourselves for not getting the insurance.  Oh well, at least I can put out a “missed connections” ad on Craig’s List and get the number of that cute girl at Carol’s party again.”

Western Regional Sales Director Steven C. Lackey posted an ad on Craig’s List early Tuesday hoping to connect with Senior Planning Director Marty Swinefelder, who had inadvertently missed his cold sales call earlier that day. The ad, posted in the “Missed Connections” section at 2:43 p.m. local time, describes Swinefelder as “a brilliant ad veteran to whom fate dealt a crushing blow by causing you to be away from your desk,” and described himself as “the super sales savior who will make you the hero of your team.” The ad insisted that Lackey only needs “20 minutes of your time to show you this relationship can deliver more than you ever dreamed of” and that he would ” really appreciate it if you could find time in your schedule later today or tomorrow.” ED NOTE: Senior Caption Editor Travis Volk broke this story while searching for a “roommate” on Craig’s List Tuesday night.