ColemanMedia Report

In an apparent move to preemptively protect their brand, increasingly empirical social network service Facebook filed a cease and desist notice in California District Court against the A-Team, temporarily prohibiting them from using the nicknames “Face” or “Faceman” in any movie sequels, TV re-runs or mall appearances. The notice, served to John “Hannibal” Smith, Templeton “Face” Peck, H.M Murdock, and B.A. Baracus, goes before an appellate judge Thursday, and is widely expected to be temporarily granted. The move reportedly did not surprise many legal experts. “It’s textbook, really,” said legal expert Hamilton Burger. “Facebook already takes great pride in unfettered ownership of their users’ privacy and online behavior, so why not take the property of anything that even remotely resembles their name, especially in the form of 80′s TV shows and horrible remakes? It makes total sense. Actually, can you strike that whole ‘textbook’ comment? I don’t want them suing me for using the word ‘book.’ Shit, scratch that last line too, would you?”

Further escalating the three-year copyright dispute between the two media stalwarts, search giant Google publicly announced late last week that they “are like rubber” and characterized adversary Viacom as “glue,” adding that “everything they do bounces off us and sticks” on Viacom.  The statement, issued late last week by Chief Playground Officer Susie Derkins, capped allegations by Google that Viacom committed the very copyright violations it accused Google of perpetuating.  ”Nuh-uh,” said an attorney from Viacom, who refused to be identified.  ”They started it.”  ”Did not,” countered Derkins. “Did too, quitsies,” said the Viacom lawyer.  ”Did not, double quitsies,” said Derkins.  ”Did too, triple quitsies, times infinity!” said the Viacom lawyer.  Judge Wormwood, presiding over the case, declined to comment on the latest accusations, saying only: “Thank God I only have five years to retirement.”