ColemanMedia Report

A study released Monday by the Center for Obvious Gags and Wordplay revealed an alarming link between the emerging technology of cloud computing and the controversial theory of global warming. According to the report, Excel spreadsheets and sales Powerpoint presentations stored in the cloud may be attaching themselves to valuable hydrogen molecules, causing severe water shortages, and potentially speeding up the process of global warming by up to 342%. “We’ve always suspected that unnecessary sales drivel would somehow lead to the end of the world,” said lead researcher Wyatt Donelly. “But we never thought that it would happen this quickly. We don’t really understand exactly what cloud computing is, but that’s not the issue. The issue is the lightning fast accessibility of insipid sales material literally sucking the essential elements of life out of our immediate atmosphere.” According to the report, cloud computing could end life as we know it somewhere in the second quarter of 2012.