ColemanMedia Report

While the Justice Department and the rest of the online ad industry closely watch developments in the proposed merger between Yahoo! and Bing, search giant Google quietly completed its purchase of the Internet Tuesday morning, according to sources with Price Waterhouse Coopers, who brokered the deal.  Google, which already effectively owns online search and online video, went back into “acquisition mode” last week after admitting that it overpaid by approximately $1 billion for YouTube.  ”We’ve made some mistakes in the past with our acquisitions,” said Google President Sergey Brin.  ”But I think the Internet is a good buy.  Unlike the banks, we’ve got the cash, so it made sense to buy when the price was right.  We’re already in negotiations to buy Music, and we’ll probably buy Fear as well, since it’s such an effective marketing tool.”  Terms of the deal were not disclosed. 

In an exclusive interview given Tuesday to popular gossip site and intellectual vacuum TMZ.com, Yahoo! revealed that its budding relationship with the much younger search engine Bing may not be as picture perfect as initially reported.  According to Yahoo!, the much more juvenile Bing is carelessly wild with its search queries, regularly leaves the toilet seat up, and watches TV into “ungodly hours” while texting its friends.  ”I’ll admit that I was attracted to Bing’s youthful energy and boyish good looks,” said the more mature search engine.  ”But the more time I spend with it the more its starting to bug the hell out of me.”  For its part, Bing fired back in the comments section of TMZ later that day, claiming that Yahoo! “nags way too much, chews its food loudly, and still won’t admit to deleting my episodes of Venture Bros.”