ColemanMedia Report

Capitalizing on one of the most buzzed-about social media trends of 2010, junior media planner Wally Wasserman has been crowd sourcing his client campaign performance reports since early May, according to several witnesses in the San Francisco office of Foote, Cone, and Mr. Belding.  The reports, which track delivery and performance of an online media buy for Nabiso’s Double Stuff Oreo brand, are reportedly farmed out to and compiled by a unanimous group of non-professional bloggers, Wikipedia moderators, and unemployed hairstylists, then presented to the client by Wasserman.  ”Ever since I saw Jeff Howe speak about crowd sourcing, I knew it was for me,” said Wassersman.  ”Since I started, our performance has gone through the roof.  Our click through rates are 16.2%, every site is over-delivering by 200%, and our share of voice is over 1,100%.  The client couldn’t be happier.  Eh, who am I kidding?  The client hasn’t paid attention to one of our report calls for at least 12 months.  At least I have more time to plan my fantasy football draft.”

Western Regional Sales Director Steven Jennings received a written response Tuesday morning to an email and two voicemails left with then junior media planner Ryan Sexton in March of 2003, according to server logs at Clickety Click Networks.  The response, sent seven years after the original correspondence began, denied Jennings’ request for a meeting to discuss Sexton’s client’s goals and objectives, but thanked him for reaching out.  Still, Jennings remains optimistic.  ”Oh this is definitely a foot in the door,” said Jennings.  ”Media planners never return calls, and when they do, it’s usually a canned response, clearly demonstrating they didn’t even read your email.  It may have taken him seven years, but Ryan actually took the time to tell me he was too busy to meet.  If that’s not a hot lead, I don’t know what is.  I’m gonna have to drop by his office with a Starbucks card or something.”