ColemanMedia Report

Digital location-based service and annoyingly popular social media networking tool of the moment Foursquare revealed that co-worker Skip Dangley interviewed at rival agency Dimm, Wittedt & Thicke while on his lunch break Tuesday afternoon.  Dangley, a self-professed “addict” of Foursquare and acting “Mayor” of Louie’s Sub & Pub on Pico Blvd., inadvertently revealed his lunch plans when he “checked in” to the DWT Los Angeles office.  ”When Skip left, we assumed he was running out to Louie’s to grab a hoagie,” said Dangley’s direct supervisor Jed Lewis.  ”But when I saw his post on my BlackBerry that he was ‘about to unlock the Better Job Badge at another agency,’ I knew something was up.  So we went ahead and packed up all his stuff so that when he gets back to the office he can ‘check out’ of his current job that much easier.”

A report released by the Center For Pretentious Trade Jargon Monday morning revealed that LBC, the acronym for “location based services” earned the honor of becoming the 7 millionth advertising acronym to be officially accepted by the larger advertising community.  The acronym, which only recently came to fruition, is used largely to confuse and belittle those in the industry who have yet to catch on to the latest flavor of the month.  ”Acronyms are an integral part of the media and marketing world,” said Leo Burnett Chief Jargon Officer Mikeal Nakovbievokov.  ”Without them, we wouldn’t be able to trick clients into buying into high CPM ROS buys that really don’t deliver a tangible ROI.  Our B2C clients would probably see right through the GRP numbers we report on our DRTV buys, and we wouldn’t be able to charge nearly as much for our OPM services.  At the EOD, we’d be SOL.  Or OOW.”

The Federal Communications Commission confirmed early Tuesday that Yonkers, NY resident and iPhone user Kevin Strumbacher successfully completed a 22-minute mobile phone call on his Apple iPhone 3GS.  According to records released by AT&T, the 25-year-old Public Relations assistant spoke, uninterrupted, to his friend Jimmy for 22 minutes and 31 seconds about whether or not Brooklyn Decker is hotter than Marissa Miller.  ”This is clearly a red-letter date,” said Brock Lichtenberg of mobile data tracking company SmartPhones, DumbUsers.  ”We haven’t recorded an iPhone call longer than 7 minutes in well over 3 years.  And to see a call longer than 20 minutes being ended voluntarily by the user, well, I’m just speechless.  And to think that an iPhone call ended with someone saying ‘Later, man’ instead of ‘Hello?  Hello!?’ makes my year, frankly.”  Unfortunately the long calls did not last.  Records show Strumbacher’s subsequent 256 conversations ended prematurely.

Just a week and a half after convicting three Google executives on violation of privacy charges, an Italian criminal court has convicted talk-show host and parasitic comedian Jay Leno to six years in prison for embezzlement, theft, and comedic tyranny.  The verdict, which was issued in absentia by Judge Giovanna Magiocelli, stems from Leno’s widely-publicized ousting of perennial underdog Conan O’Brien from NBC’s The Tonight Show in February.  The case has media and legal experts perplexed.  ”I realize that everyone wanted to punch Jay Leno for getting Conan fired,” said attorney Martin Venable.  ”But for the Italians to assert their jurisdiction over this one is even more confounding than NBC’s decision to move Conan to